Friday, October 30, 2015

He's always been faithful to me.

The expression "The days are long, but the years are short" comes to mind often.I know it's true in raising children, (and I am so thankful to older Mothers who have reminded me of this truth often. How I need it!)
I think a more fitting summary of my days right now would be: the days are long, but the :weeks: are short! Can other Moms relate? As I sit here at my computer this afternoon, I look back on this week...and it is hard to be satisfied with anything my hands have done! "Is there anything to show for what I accomplished this week??", so grumbles my heart.

For me, these days usually begin with waking up squished between my two daughters, who have ended up in bed with me in the course of the night. Not one sticker this week on the (Please!)Stay-in-your-bed-all-night-chart ,for a certain three year old I know.

And there is usually a backlog of dishes from the night before,( -clean ones in the dishwasher to unload that should have been dealt with before starting on dinner!, and so there's a dirty pile from dinner by the sink to scrub) and breakfast will soon add more.

Waking up before my children, with time to drink my tea
(-which has now been desperately switched out by coffee!-)
 is but a faint memory.

Sleeping all through the night is but a dream...
A whole year's "unanswered" prayer would be more accurate!
I know it's a heard prayer and an answered prayer,but not answered as I would prefer! But, thankfully,I can keep asking for it, and so I do!

Along with time to read my Bible for a long stretch- oh how I miss that!
Not to mention, time to exercise,
or make art (!),
or to just sit quietly and stare at the wall.

This morning, as I stood before a massive pile of breakfast dishes, ( as Emmy was at preschool, and Sadie was taking her morning nap-) I felt like it was as good a time as any to talk to the Lord about my plight. And I want to share how He met me there!

All too often at 9:45am, I am foggy-headed and grumbly in my heart; overwhelmed with the tasks of the day ahead of me. Tired, and allowing that to steal my joy. I always feel like if I weren't so tired, everything would be so much easier!

But, it was one of those mustard-seed of faith moments. And I set before the Lord all of those things I listed above, along with a few others.

Nothing too amazing happened, but I did feel renewed strength to just face the task at hand. And fresh faith to not give into my strong desire to spend the rest of the morning on the couch watching Parks and Recreation, instead of attending to the various duties around the house. ;}

So, as I washed the dishes in my rarely quiet kitchen, I suddenly was in the mood to listen to Sara Groves. I hadn't listened to her in such a long time, but I found her on my ipad. And without really thinking, mostly because I couldn't remember the last time I listened to it- I tapped onto my favorite song of hers - He's Always Been Faithful.

And it was like a slideshow of the past mundane moments of the week were on display before me, and God was giving me grace to see beauty and purpose in them. Dishsoap bubbles on my hands, tears in my eyes. Joy in my heart. (All 3, gifts from the Lord.)

"Morning by morning I wake up to find the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.

Season by season I watch Him, amazed; :in awe of the mystery: of His perfect ways
All I have need of, His hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.

I can't remember a trial or a pain- He did not recycle to bring me gain.

I can't remember one single regret in serving God only, and trusting His hand.

All I have need of, His hand will provide. He's always been faithful to me.
This is my anthem, this is my song; the theme of the stories I've heard for so long:
God has been faithful, He will be again.
His loving compassion- it knows no end.
All I have need of - His hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me.

I just felt like the Lord was reaching out to me. All the issues in my heart can see so insignificant. Dishes, and sticker charts, a year of inadequate sleep, dreams of time alone to make things and be creative; post-pregnancy pounds.

 I think that's why it can be easy for Moms to not bring these kinds of things to the Lord, and to just wallow in self-pity.

I was tired, and frustrated, and feeling like this is how life is always going to be for the rest of my motherhood! But God was opening my eyes to see how He's been with me, morning by morning. He has sustained me till now, and will continue to.

It was like a theologically magic wand was waved over my situation, and I was able to see clearly. He made an unlovely everyday moment into something beautiful. He helped me remember the meaning and purpose in my daily lot, and strength for it- comes from Him.

I wanted to share this song with other ladies out there. I hope God will use it to encourage you too; to restore to you the joy of salvation, like He did for me in an everyday moment.

Psalm 16 comes to mind,

"Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup; you make my lot secure. 
 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
 surely I have a delightful inheritance. 

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. 

I keep my eyes always on the Lord. 
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken. 
 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;my body also will rest secure, 
because you will not abandon me...

You make known to me the path of life; 
 you will fill me with joy in your presence,
    with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

Saturday, October 24, 2015

the first post.

Once upon a time, I would have described myself as a girl who loved to be creative. My favorite thing to do, ever since I was little, was to create. I would just sit and start making, without really being sure what I would come up with. It was truly therapeutic for me; a prayerful, joyful, satisfying kind of thing.

Of course, back then, I also would have also said that I desired to be a wife and a mother. I always pictured that those two things would go well together! But, I now find myself in my early years of being a wife and a mother. And while, of course, there is much joy to be creative energy seems to be seriously lacking!

 It takes some major effort for my mommy-brain to even figure out how to set aside time in the day for making things and being creative,  let alone the effort of getting out supplies and just starting on something. The few times I've sat to work on something, I have found myself just kind of staring at my desk, not sure where to begin. Then, Sadie wakes from her nap, or it's time to pick Emmylou up from preschool.

There are lots of ways a mother can use her creativity each day, but the actual act of sitting down and making something on purpose - that I miss. I am a Christian, and I do trust God for this. I truly do believe He has had a purpose in me setting this part of my life aside for a few years. But now, it seems I am sort of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel- no comparing motherhood to death intended!- and I'm ready to start trying to make things again.

And so, that is kind of why I want to try blogging again. I thought this little blog could be a way to help me to be more intentional in pursuing creativity in this season of life. I was so excited when my friend Heather emailed me a month or two ago , asking if I would be interested in blogging ! I've always had the idea in the back of my mind, and her email helped convince me to try.  ;)

A desire of mine with this blog is not only to encourage other mothers who find themselves in a similar place -figuring out how to find time to be creative, with all sorts of children and toys and mess underfoot!- but also ,

figuring out how to be okay with :not: being able to find as much time to be creative as we'd like!! We can find joy and contentment there too, if it's where God has us. There are dishes to be scrubbed, little mouths to feed and wipe, curls to comb and little hands to hold. There is beauty and purpose in these mundane moments -that often crowd out alone-with-our-own-thoughts time. I need this reminder daily.

I also will just talk about some of my favorite things, like vintage children's books and lace curtains and floral wallpaper and such- hope you don’t mind! Maybe I'll share a recipe here and there, and little tricks and happy things that have been a help in my motherhood lately.

Mostly, I will probably be talking about what God is teaching me in this season of life in which He has placed me-specifically learning to be thankful and intentional in motherhood. This is where everything makes sense for me, and finds its proper place.

Also, a warning - I am feeling very dumb and silly with layouts and blogging technique and such, so please be patient with me! Ok, that's all for now. Thanks for stopping by! And bearing with this rambly first post. :)

Until next time, and hopefully soon !,


This photo was taken one Fall ago, when Emmy and Sadie were first getting to know each other.